Jessica and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day..

Well, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, I'm grumpy. Disgruntled even. Irritable maybe? And for gosh darn good reason.

Now, I didn't really want to write about the goings-on of the last few days, but my wonderful mother made a suggestion after about the 45th phone call I made to her either crying, complaining, yelling, or one of the twenty other unrecognizable sounds I was making as part of my one man pity party show...she simply said "well baby, why don't you blog about it?"

First of all, thanks Mom for putting up with me. You took the brunt of my frustrated projectional anger and tears with grace and calm. And (argh, this is gonna hurt..) you...were...r..ri..right. (Man that was hard! For a second there I thought my fine mouth muscles had stopped working as it was almost impossible for me to get those words out) As I'm writing, I'm already feeling a sense of emotional catharsis, and I haven't even gotten to the crux of the matter!

Now the trouble all starts on Saturday. My sister Sam and I are rolling down the highway to Austin en route to our half marathon, windows down (not out of choice..my AC is broken), reggae music blaring, when out of NOWHERE this cop pulls us over. Now, as I'm signaling the appropriate blinker to pull to the side of the road, and slowly decreasing my speed to a safe stopping point, I'm wondering to myself frantically..what did I do??? Speeding? No. Failed signal?? No way. Reckless driving?? Absolutely not. Then it dawns on me...the expired inspection sticker I'd literally JUST noticed last week. Sure enough, as the guy is chatting me up about the race this weekend, he informs me that my sticker is 6 mths. expired, and that because of the length of time of expiration he HAD to give me a citation. Immediately, I'm mad. Obviously. I mean c'mon! After we just had this lovely conversation about my race, and my sister, and your kids, you're still gonna give me a ticket! I thought we had something special. And obviously I was more mad at myself, because of course...it truly was my fault, and who on God's green earth lets something expire for that long?? This girl apparently.

So the cop tells me to get my inspection as soon as possible, and to call the judge on the off-chance that he may dismiss the ticket. You can bet your Aunt Sally I did just that. I was going to do everything humanly possible to avoid paying $165 for a citation and a new inspection! So Monday rolls around, and I rush over to a big name brand auto place on my lunch break to try and get the inspection done, which apparently was my first mistake. NEWS FLASH: When you're car is 10 years old and on the downward spiral of its long wonderful life, you should probably take it to somewhere as ghetto fab as possible, because apparently, they're more likely to pass you when something minor happens. Which it did. Some a-hole backed into me a few months back, and made the worlds tiniest crack in my tail light, which according to Texas state inspection is a failable offense. Poor old Ranger. Big Name Brand Auto Guy informs me that its gonna be $100 bucks for the tail light cover and $50 to put it on. Which really cheesed me off. Really Big Name Auto Guy? Really? $50 to unscrew four tiny screws, remove said tail light cover, and then screw said four tiny screws back on?? I don't think so.

So me and my homies (shoutout to JMO for the hookup) tracked down a MUCH CHEAPER option in the ghetto of Corpus, and dodged that money pit bullet. I must say though, guy at Deluxe Auto Parts off of Agnes Rd., you were a godsend. After I purchased the tail light, I think the clerk could tell I was about to burst out into an emotional fit and put on the lens cover for me..for free. I hugged the guy. I think he was a little uncomfortable. I even offered to buy him food, as I had no money on me. But he declined politely, seeing as how he probably thought I wasn't completely right in the head. But nonetheless, I had my new lens cover (which was actually upside down compared to the old one, but at this point, I didn't care), and I was ready for the Ranger to pass inspection!

Ohhhh, but no no. That's not all. As I was leaving work that day, I nonchalantly ask one of my fellow coworkers to stand behind me and check to see if my lights were working properly now that I had my new lens. Come to find out, the RIGHT bulb on my back light was out. Seriously?? So, after speaking with my dad, and my boyfriend (who also were very wonderful throughout this mini nervous breakdown) I was encouraged that a new bulb was a cheap and easy install I could do myself. After purchasing the bulb, I trekked down with my trusty screwdriver and attempted to shimmy the light cover off, chipping a piece in the process. Fantastic. Now, I'm looking at another $5o bucks for a new cover unless I can somehow salvage this situation. The answer of course, is superglue. After locating some (thanks aften and javi), I attempt to then superglue the chip back on..in the dark. Can we just say EPIC FAIL? No part of the scenario can end well. First of all, I notice that no superglue is coming out. Great, the opening to the superglue is superglued shut. What a fantastic packaging idea. So in my infinite wisdom, I attempt to open the tip of the glue by..yes, you guessed it, BITING IT. As I bite down on said glue tip, a literal explosion of superglue is projected into my mouth, coating my tongue teeth, and in the process of trying to remove it, my hands. I immediately switch into problem solving mode and start crying. No amount of tooth brushing, vinegar, soap, and hot water helped me get the blasted crap off of any surface, and needless to say, the one thing I needed the glue to do its job on (the lens cover) remained chipped and un-glued together. WTH?

Anywho, after calling that night a complete wash, I woke up the next morning, ready to get this Ranger to pass its test. At lunch, I rushed over, quickly passed the inspection, got my necessary paperwork, and was ready to head out until Big Name Auto Guy (BNAG for short) informs me that my left front tire is low again, and that I should probably get that checked out. You can imagine me smirking, and thinking to myself "yeah right, BNAG, way to try and make a buck. You're not getting one cent more out of me, because I'm smarter than you!" But what I really said was "thanks," and walked out. Well, it just so happens, that that day, I got off work early to go to school, and as I'm walking out literally two hours later, I find my poor little truck, sittin' sideways (and no not in a cool gangsta way) with a COMPLETELY flat left front tire. Touche' BNAG. Touche.

I panic. Try to inflate it. With a small air compressor, no jack, no tools. Doesn't work. Thank gosh for roadside assistance. Which apparently takes forever. I should have lied and said I was in an unsafe area when they asked me the first time! An hour and half later, a roadside assistance guy (who has actually helped me on numerous occasions when I've locked my keys in my car and probably thinks I'm an idiot) shows up, finds my spare, which is also flat. Inflates spare. Puts spare on. And sends me on my way to class right on time. Which is good right??

Until I come out of class later that night to a flat spare tire. Again. I drive my poor car across the street on the rim, to the gas station, because of course I'm also sitting dangerously on E, get gas, and beg for change to try and fill my tire with air. Waste a dollar trying to inflate the tire. Then a drunken angel shows up, tells me he has a jack at his house, which was apparently behind the dumpster of the convenience store, and jacks my truck up, so I can fill the tire with air. Said angel, then informs me to get Fix-A-Flat, and drive my happy ass home. Thank you drunken angel. Without you, I'd still be sitting in ghettoville, no air, no money, and no way home.

So right now, as we speak. My tire is still inflated, I'm going tomorrow to get it checked out and probably buy a new one. Which is fine by me. Oh, and on a happier note. The judge dismissed my ticket, all for the small price of a $10 money order. Although approximately $150 later, I guess its all the same, lol. The moral(s) of the story are 1)stay current on your inspection sticker (that stuff will get you and only ends in heartache) 2) There are some

crappy people out there who will take advantage of your naivete if you let them, but there are also some really great people out there willing to help you if you let them. 3)Take care of your vehicle, its a huge investment that immediately starts depreciating in value the second

you drive it off the lot and 4)....well, when life hands you lemons you are most certainly encouraged to make lemonade, but if that's not your style, we're all entitled to a little self-indu

lgent whining and complaining from time to time.

And I've sure exhausted my alloted self pity time for the year. But life could always be worse, and

I'm reminded that I'm fortunate enough to have a vehicle, the money (however meager) to fix it, and great friends and family to help me out when I need it.