Dancing Queens.

I think I'll just continue with this Queen-theme and post a few pics from our "dance-capades" this weekend. Three sisters. One video game. Countless dance moves. Watch out Brittney Spears. Move over Rihanna. You just got served.

But first I HAD to insert this picture of the delish shrimp alfredo my dad made us, soooo good!

Some form of the robot?

Again with the booty poppin!

Duel.

Can't touch this biatch.

Too much booty for one man to handle, ow ow ow

Ra Ra Rasputin

And that's how the Johnson sisters do it.

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Queen for a Day.

Today was my first ever SPA DAY! In all my 27 years on this Earth I have never once paid for a professional massage or an upscale manicure or pedicure...and WOW, WHAT A COLOSSAL MISTAKE THAT'S BEEN. My mom was once upon a time a licensed massage therapist, and I have been the lucky recipient of many a practice sesh from her, but that was literally light years ago.

One of the main reasons I've never had such a treat is that I'm cheap.

Seriously, I'm cheap. I prefer the words frugal, maybe thrifty, cost efficient, or perhaps financially savvy, but when it all boils down to it, I just prefer to hoard my small amount of income on the off chance that some disaster may occur, like say the end of the world or a hostile zombie takeover. You just never know.

Remaining true to my frugality, of course I didn't buy this spa day package for myself! My wonderful boyfriend did a pretty fan-freakin-tastic job this Christmas and got me the day of pampering as my gift, and boy did he get brownie points for this one :) The deal included the choice of either a one hour swedish massage or facial, and a manicure and pedicure at the Anthony Aveda Spa here in Corpus Christi. Seeing as how I just got done running my race this past weekend, I thought the massage would do just the trick for my sore "dogs".

I must say, kudos to J.R. my masseuse for his wonderful healing hands. I'm not a "relaxer" by nature, so of course my hour long massage was filled with entertaining chit-chat with J.R., who I discovered was quite the jack-of-all-trades. An LMT, a chef, a surfer, a world traveler, a frisbee golfer, and a shark bite attack survivor. Man, its amazing what somebody will tell you when you're 7/8 naked with them, crammed into a tiny, dark room filled with scented candles, and zen chakra music playing in the background. All in all though, the experience was pretty dang amazing, and I tip my hat to J.R. and his healing hands!

I finished up my spa day with an hour long manicure AND an hour long pedicure! I've had a few pedicures at the local mall nail place that I thought were pretty fantastical, but nothing compared to what Jessica, my nail lady did for me at Anthony Aveda. Paraffin. Lengthy massage. Salt scrubs. Full Body wraps done with 100 dollar bills. Well not really, but that's sure what it felt like. I was absolutely pampered. :)

But *sigh*, all good things must come to an end, and unless you're rollin' in moolah, then weekly spa treatments just aren't in the picture. I do, however, highly suggest that all you ladies (and what they hay, guys too) get out there and go take yourself a mental health day, and get treated like the Queen (and King) of Sheba that you are. It sure was good while it lasted.

You did good, babe.

(A good shot of my manicure, while I'm reaching for Sam's booty lol)

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I wish I was this cool..

One day I will be able to sign language like this!

Just because I'm feeling feisty tonight, enjoy :)

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Jessica and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day..

Well, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, I'm grumpy. Disgruntled even. Irritable maybe? And for gosh darn good reason.

Now, I didn't really want to write about the goings-on of the last few days, but my wonderful mother made a suggestion after about the 45th phone call I made to her either crying, complaining, yelling, or one of the twenty other unrecognizable sounds I was making as part of my one man pity party show...she simply said "well baby, why don't you blog about it?"

First of all, thanks Mom for putting up with me. You took the brunt of my frustrated projectional anger and tears with grace and calm. And (argh, this is gonna hurt..) you...were...r..ri..right. (Man that was hard! For a second there I thought my fine mouth muscles had stopped working as it was almost impossible for me to get those words out) As I'm writing, I'm already feeling a sense of emotional catharsis, and I haven't even gotten to the crux of the matter!

Now the trouble all starts on Saturday. My sister Sam and I are rolling down the highway to Austin en route to our half marathon, windows down (not out of choice..my AC is broken), reggae music blaring, when out of NOWHERE this cop pulls us over. Now, as I'm signaling the appropriate blinker to pull to the side of the road, and slowly decreasing my speed to a safe stopping point, I'm wondering to myself frantically..what did I do??? Speeding? No. Failed signal?? No way. Reckless driving?? Absolutely not. Then it dawns on me...the expired inspection sticker I'd literally JUST noticed last week. Sure enough, as the guy is chatting me up about the race this weekend, he informs me that my sticker is 6 mths. expired, and that because of the length of time of expiration he HAD to give me a citation. Immediately, I'm mad. Obviously. I mean c'mon! After we just had this lovely conversation about my race, and my sister, and your kids, you're still gonna give me a ticket! I thought we had something special. And obviously I was more mad at myself, because of course...it truly was my fault, and who on God's green earth lets something expire for that long?? This girl apparently.

So the cop tells me to get my inspection as soon as possible, and to call the judge on the off-chance that he may dismiss the ticket. You can bet your Aunt Sally I did just that. I was going to do everything humanly possible to avoid paying $165 for a citation and a new inspection! So Monday rolls around, and I rush over to a big name brand auto place on my lunch break to try and get the inspection done, which apparently was my first mistake. NEWS FLASH: When you're car is 10 years old and on the downward spiral of its long wonderful life, you should probably take it to somewhere as ghetto fab as possible, because apparently, they're more likely to pass you when something minor happens. Which it did. Some a-hole backed into me a few months back, and made the worlds tiniest crack in my tail light, which according to Texas state inspection is a failable offense. Poor old Ranger. Big Name Brand Auto Guy informs me that its gonna be $100 bucks for the tail light cover and $50 to put it on. Which really cheesed me off. Really Big Name Auto Guy? Really? $50 to unscrew four tiny screws, remove said tail light cover, and then screw said four tiny screws back on?? I don't think so.

So me and my homies (shoutout to JMO for the hookup) tracked down a MUCH CHEAPER option in the ghetto of Corpus, and dodged that money pit bullet. I must say though, guy at Deluxe Auto Parts off of Agnes Rd., you were a godsend. After I purchased the tail light, I think the clerk could tell I was about to burst out into an emotional fit and put on the lens cover for me..for free. I hugged the guy. I think he was a little uncomfortable. I even offered to buy him food, as I had no money on me. But he declined politely, seeing as how he probably thought I wasn't completely right in the head. But nonetheless, I had my new lens cover (which was actually upside down compared to the old one, but at this point, I didn't care), and I was ready for the Ranger to pass inspection!

Ohhhh, but no no. That's not all. As I was leaving work that day, I nonchalantly ask one of my fellow coworkers to stand behind me and check to see if my lights were working properly now that I had my new lens. Come to find out, the RIGHT bulb on my back light was out. Seriously?? So, after speaking with my dad, and my boyfriend (who also were very wonderful throughout this mini nervous breakdown) I was encouraged that a new bulb was a cheap and easy install I could do myself. After purchasing the bulb, I trekked down with my trusty screwdriver and attempted to shimmy the light cover off, chipping a piece in the process. Fantastic. Now, I'm looking at another $5o bucks for a new cover unless I can somehow salvage this situation. The answer of course, is superglue. After locating some (thanks aften and javi), I attempt to then superglue the chip back on..in the dark. Can we just say EPIC FAIL? No part of the scenario can end well. First of all, I notice that no superglue is coming out. Great, the opening to the superglue is superglued shut. What a fantastic packaging idea. So in my infinite wisdom, I attempt to open the tip of the glue by..yes, you guessed it, BITING IT. As I bite down on said glue tip, a literal explosion of superglue is projected into my mouth, coating my tongue teeth, and in the process of trying to remove it, my hands. I immediately switch into problem solving mode and start crying. No amount of tooth brushing, vinegar, soap, and hot water helped me get the blasted crap off of any surface, and needless to say, the one thing I needed the glue to do its job on (the lens cover) remained chipped and un-glued together. WTH?

Anywho, after calling that night a complete wash, I woke up the next morning, ready to get this Ranger to pass its test. At lunch, I rushed over, quickly passed the inspection, got my necessary paperwork, and was ready to head out until Big Name Auto Guy (BNAG for short) informs me that my left front tire is low again, and that I should probably get that checked out. You can imagine me smirking, and thinking to myself "yeah right, BNAG, way to try and make a buck. You're not getting one cent more out of me, because I'm smarter than you!" But what I really said was "thanks," and walked out. Well, it just so happens, that that day, I got off work early to go to school, and as I'm walking out literally two hours later, I find my poor little truck, sittin' sideways (and no not in a cool gangsta way) with a COMPLETELY flat left front tire. Touche' BNAG. Touche.

I panic. Try to inflate it. With a small air compressor, no jack, no tools. Doesn't work. Thank gosh for roadside assistance. Which apparently takes forever. I should have lied and said I was in an unsafe area when they asked me the first time! An hour and half later, a roadside assistance guy (who has actually helped me on numerous occasions when I've locked my keys in my car and probably thinks I'm an idiot) shows up, finds my spare, which is also flat. Inflates spare. Puts spare on. And sends me on my way to class right on time. Which is good right??

Until I come out of class later that night to a flat spare tire. Again. I drive my poor car across the street on the rim, to the gas station, because of course I'm also sitting dangerously on E, get gas, and beg for change to try and fill my tire with air. Waste a dollar trying to inflate the tire. Then a drunken angel shows up, tells me he has a jack at his house, which was apparently behind the dumpster of the convenience store, and jacks my truck up, so I can fill the tire with air. Said angel, then informs me to get Fix-A-Flat, and drive my happy ass home. Thank you drunken angel. Without you, I'd still be sitting in ghettoville, no air, no money, and no way home.

So right now, as we speak. My tire is still inflated, I'm going tomorrow to get it checked out and probably buy a new one. Which is fine by me. Oh, and on a happier note. The judge dismissed my ticket, all for the small price of a $10 money order. Although approximately $150 later, I guess its all the same, lol. The moral(s) of the story are 1)stay current on your inspection sticker (that stuff will get you and only ends in heartache) 2) There are some

crappy people out there who will take advantage of your naivete if you let them, but there are also some really great people out there willing to help you if you let them. 3)Take care of your vehicle, its a huge investment that immediately starts depreciating in value the second

you drive it off the lot and 4)....well, when life hands you lemons you are most certainly encouraged to make lemonade, but if that's not your style, we're all entitled to a little self-indu

lgent whining and complaining from time to time.

And I've sure exhausted my alloted self pity time for the year. But life could always be worse, and

I'm reminded that I'm fortunate enough to have a vehicle, the money (however meager) to fix it, and great friends and family to help me out when I need it.

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LIVESTRONG MY FRIENDS

RACE UPDATE: On a glorious, perfect day in downtown Austin, two sisters set out to accomplish a 13.1 mile race, on a pretty difficult up anddown course...and STINKIN NAILED IT.

Statistically, both of us finished identically with a race time of 2:19, crossing the finish line seconds apart. We both also finished 5165 out of 10,523 total participants, and 2490 out of 6291 female participants. There were approximately 20,000 total runners (marathon, half, and 5k) from over 20 different countries, and all 50 states!

If you've never participated in a race of this scale, I urge you to please RUN out the door and go sign up for one. The experience is unlike anything you can imagine. I've run the Austin Marathon before, so I was somewhat prepared for the sheer giganticism of the crowd, but it was still so overwhelming (in a good way) to be surrounded by fellow "crazies" all setting out to do what some would consider the impossible. To push their bodies to the limit, to accomplish something. Some of them were doing it for themselves, and some were racing for a a cause, the cure, or their father. All of them were amazing. I can't describe to you how many times I was actually close to tears, reading the backs of t-shirts in front of me, understanding a little of their stories, and why they were out here in this mass spectacle.

The moral of the story is we finished. We accomplished our goal to run, and not stop. Do we feel bruised and battered? Sure do. Do we feel tired and weary? Of course. Will we do it again...? Hell Yeah. :)

Enjoy a few of our pictures from our walkabout downtown Austin the day before the race. Race pictures to follow soon!

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The Zen of Running

I honestly do love running. When I'm not running consistently (we're talking 3-4 times a week) I feel what I would describe as just simple unease. Yes, I'm naturally fidgety. But a non-running Jess is fidgety times a billion. I'm also naturally anal-retentive..about a lot of things. But a non running Jess is Type A to the mizzax. I organize trash receptacles. Touch the doornob three times before turning off the light. Have my pantry alphabetized and color coordinated. It can get REAL bad.

A RUNNING Jess on the other hand, is happier. Healthier. More confident. More organized (in a good way). Easier to handle. Calm (or at least calm-ER). Now I don't know about all of that endorphin induced runner's high hokey pokey that people talk about. I, for one, have yet to experience that. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've had good runs...great runs even! The type where you zone out, and before you know it..POOF you ran 7 miles and you feel great! But that happens, hmmm...lets say, once in a blue moon. For the most part, I'm that runner who is trudging along...red in the face...sweating profusely..can't talk (so don't bother trying to ask me a question)...have to have my IPOD or I'll die...just trying to make it through. I AM NOT A PRETTY RUNNER. But it does make me feel prettier..does that make sense?

Anyways, enough of my little rant on running. The bottom line is I am a runner. Not a jogger. Not a walker. Not even a professional speed walker. I run. I will always run. It keeps me sane, and for that you should all thank running.

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"I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls..."

I didn't plan on writing anything tonight, but as a girl..and a bargain shopper...and an amateur fashionista (I mean we're talking really really amateur here) I felt an obligation to share this amazing site with all my fellow females out there. If you're like me and you like to find those occasional one of a kind pieces, or really just pieces that aren't from your basic department store, then you'll love this website http://www.modcloth.com/. ESPECIALLY THE DRESSES. I'm a sucker for a cute sundress, or vintage inspired mini. So enjoy the site ladies, and my few handpicked favorites!

"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you." ~Françoise Sagan

**I love this LBD, its basic, but the back is what makes me

want it/need it, more than I need air right now.

"When in doubt, wear red." ~Bill Blass

**Loving these two ADORABLE red dresses. You can never go wrong with red :)

"I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.." --Audrey Hepburn

**And these last few....just because they make me happy!

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Oh I'm running my life away

So the culmination of the last few months of training is going to be the Austin Half Marathon this Sunday.

http://youraustinmarathon.com/

It will be the second half I've run, but the first for my sister Sam! I'm so excited and thrilled that she decided to run this race with me about 4 months ago, and she really has been such a trooper throughout the whole process. She's put up with my Hitler-ish fanatacism about sticking to the (cue huge air quotes) "PLAN". Because as you know, I'm a huge fan of plans, and lists, and sticking to 'em.

She's rolled her eyes plenty of times when I've nagged about not falling behind, about getting out there and running even when she'd much rather be drinking gigantic glasses of chocolate milk, and watching Family Guy in bed. I know at times she probably wanted to strangle me in my sleep, but I hope at the end of the race on Sunday, when she accomplishes something she may have thought she never would, that she'll thank me for all of that. For being her older sister. For caring enough to scold. For trying to encourage her because I know that in the end the feeling she gets will be so worth the sore knees, the bleeding blisters, and all of the free time she gave up.

Maybe she won't want to run anymore after that. Or we'll just stick to smaller races, but I'm so excited to be sharing this event with her, and I really plan on staying by her side the whole race. Picking her up when she's down, encouraging her to not give up. Telling her "just one more mile, keep it up". And ultimately, being there in case she needs me to carry her on my back. Because I'm her sister, and that's my job. And that's what I'll always do. Good thing I have a strong backbone... :)

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Its beginning to look a lot like Spring

This weekend was full of some fantastic times, with fantastic people. Valentine's Day Celebrations. Friends reuniting. Great weather. Great music. Great times.

Jenny and Braden

Walking with the little man

Sumo Wrestling in the Park!

Fort Building

Toes by Braden

The coolest fort in the whole dang place.

Me gusta reggae.

Concert times.

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Naked Man-Babies Pooping Rainbows...

Everyone knows that Valentine’s Day began when a naked man-child with beautiful feathery wings went around shooting people with arrows, and pooping rainbows and butterflies for all of the

villagers to behold.

No? Well, then I’ve had the story wrong this whole time.

But seriously, nowadays (yes I just used the word nowadays) you'd be hard pressed to find a person who could tell you where it originated and why exactly we still celebrate this holiday in the current day and age. If polled, I'm sure at least 42% of the voters out there believe that it began when Emperor Hallmarkus set out on his quest to dominate the world of greeting cards with his gladiators, lions, and and Braveheart-esque warriors. (and yes, I also know I'm mixing historical war references here, but its my blog, and I'll do what I want)

In my opinion, its become a ridiculously over-commercialized holiday, in which couples feel obligated to purchase lavish gifts for one another as tokens of their appreciation. Somewhat vaguely reminiscent of a scene from a recent romantic comedy, it goes a little something like this:

Ashton Kutcher as Adam (holding balloon with the word congrats on it): "It's for you."

Natalie Portman as Emma: "Congrats? For what? Having sex with you?"

Adam: "Yeah, you did a really good job so I thought you deserved a balloon."

The flowers, candy, jewelry, electronics or whatever your weapon of choice, is for some people, an obligatory "congratulations balloon." A "thank you for putting up with me" gift. Now don't get me wrong, before I start to sound like a bitter old valentine-less cat lady, I must state a disclaimer...I STILL CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY. I just don't necessarily think that all of the fluff, and pomp and circumstance, and expensiveness is required to show someone that you care.

Enough of my personal railings against society's expectations, and commercialism, and "stick it to the man" agenda. I know you are all dying to know the true meaning behind Valentine's Day, so yes, I’ll enlighten all you heathens out there. Keep in mind though, this is just one of the various legends that are out there, albeit the most widely accepted. You're welcome in advance for this Cliff's Notes kid friendly history lesson.

Once upon a time, in Ancient Rome, (3rd century to be exact), the EVIIIILLLL Emperor Claudius II decided that the soldiers in his army made better fighters when they had no special lady friends or families to worry about back home. The Emperor decreed a ban against the marriage of all young men, and rumor has it that the kindly Bishop Valentine began secretly uniting young couples in matrimony. Valentine was eventually arrested, and executed on...you guessed it, February 14th 270 A.D.

And that, my friends, is the brief history of how Valentine's Day began.

Sadly, there were no little naked man-babies to be had (and I'm still wondering where that guy came into the picture). So now that you know how it all started, maybe you'll catch the romantic bug, and replace your wallet with a pen, and opt for letting your significant other know how you feel with words rather than expensive gifts.

As for me and my special someone, we’ll spend the day enjoying each other’s company, treating each other to something we enjoy, and taking some time to say those things that we all too often forget to say during those boring unromantic 364 OTHER days of the year. Happy Valentines Day!

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The Karate Kid

It's time for a little sibling boastage up in here! (yes I made that word up, but its my blog and I can do that:) I just wanted to say how proud I am of my little sister Alex. Not only is she incredibly smart, she's cooler than I am now at the age of 13. She's her own unique person, and she always will be, and for that she's my role model. She can also kick your butt with one judo chop to the esophagus, as her 1st and 2nd place trophies more than prove! So watch out. Mess with me, mess with my posse. :-)

Disclaimer: I also have another amazing younger sister, Sam, whose awesomeness will be expanded on at a later date. Blog on friends. :)

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Delicioso!

Pre-Oven

This Sunday night's feast was off the chizzain! I give myself 4 stars and a pat on the back for this concoction. Chicken basted in creamy pesto and wrapped in bacon, sitting atop a creamy pesto fettucine, kicked up a notch with fresh mushrooms and onions....I just died and went to Italy....

The Delicious Results with a nice glass of white wine!

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